Sunday, 25 October 2015

On Being Who You Are (Or A Letter to my Younger Self)

This poem was written out of the reflections I had on graduating and all the time I've spent at uni. Happy reading!

On Being Who You Are (Or A Letter to my Younger Self)

I've chosen to be myself now.
It was hard, not being me; 
It is hard to be me.
They said I was strange, weird;
I tried to change, lock myself away,
Gave them only what they wanted to see.
I'm leaving that behind; I'm going to be me. 

I'm going to be myself, I say.
Lay down my rules for living, and live by them,
Every single time. 
They may oppose me true,
But I'll shake my head and smile; don't mistake 
That for agreement. As Mr. Henley wrote, 
'My head is bloody but unbowed', I'll say quietly
To the pain inside. 

We all need that time in our lives,
To explore ourselves. Me thinks it a sad thing
To live life based on people's assumptions, views,
Beliefs, ideas, on who you are and who you should be.
Make mistakes. Grow.
Your experience should ring true to all who hear your tale.
Know who you are; separate from the clamouring and the noise
Of the voices inside and outside.

We are leaving tracks in the sand,
Our footprints quickly vanishing, too faint to follow;
A ripple of water that is gone, even as it comes.
Our monuments of today will be ashes tomorrow; new ones
Will take their place. 
Live. Not too much for yourself or for a legacy
Or for the applause of society.
Live, as a celebration of life. Try to be yourself, 
Who you feel with all your heart, all your soul,
You should be. 
Have constructive experience. Enjoy productive fun.
Be me.

Monday, 19 October 2015

The Bed Hopper

Here's another poem. Happy reading.

The Bed Hopper

Why do we hop, from bed to bed?
Is it because society has punished us
Has deemed us unfit to love?

Why do we hop, from bed to bed?
Is it the loneliness, the feeling we're alone in our desire?
For some it is proving themselves, over and over
being a better a lover.
Others say one person, whether man or woman, can never be enough.
For me, the experience of you is all I would want.

And so we hop, from bed to bed, 
Conquest after conquest.
Have you ever felt the adrenaline, the rush of desire
The fulfilled fullness when you someone in your arms 
Naked.
All the places you touch; with mouth, fingers, feet
Are pleased.
Owner pleased. You pleased.
Desire sent, desire received.
It's not as romantic as in the movies, but just as rewarding. 

Why do we hop, from bed to bed?
There are many who'll tell you: monogamy is dead,
Marriage gets so boring sometimes.
Forgetting the forest, we start counting trees.
Unhappy that our favourites no longer appear.
I tire of your complaining.

Has desire ever come to you unbidden?
Do you rollover at night, see my sleeping form,
struggle strongly not to wake me from sleep?
Has your restraint ever veered on the edge of collapse?
Mine has. I miss you longing for me. 
Sometimes we have an awakening, curiosity destroying restraint.
I yearn to know what makes you tick. 
I treat satisfying you as a sort of project:
I've written both proposal and budget; now I need your help with the report.

Why do we hop, from bed to bed?
Who does not want to be wanted? 
I figure we can do without love for a while.
I give of my body freely; my heart locked up firmly, beyond breach.
It's funny how people say they like you,
Their rejection written already in the small things.
It's just tolerance for the interim. 
Then they'll change you. Or get you to change for them. 

Why do we hop, from bed to bed?
Looking over your shoulder is a deadly thing,
Try not to see if the grass is indeed greener. Water and tend your own.
If it fails, bear the grass as it is. 
We're searching for something that can be found. Not in our lifetime;
We must leave it for those who come after.
I would prefer desire be answered by desire, longing mutual,
Not one-sided.
To be always wanted, loved, and never used.
To have the encounter of a lifetime over and over again.
Why else would I hop, from bed to bed?

Thursday, 15 October 2015

On being friend-zoned


Hello friends! Long time, no see. I'm sorry I've gone so long without writing anything, but creative juices can be somewhat unpredictable. Over the next few weeks, I hope to be sharing a few poems with you guys. I like to think of them as the gems of my solitude. Enjoy the one below.

Friend-Zone (Requiem for Love)

You are everything they need, on paper and in reality.
You did all the right things; dressed up nice, played it cool.
You were the shoulder to cry on, their umbrella in the rain.
You've wisely stayed silent, your ears shouldering the burden
More often than your mouth
You're right there. And yet, you're invisble.

You've been asking yourself lately what went wrong.
Why isn't it as clear to her, to him, as it is to you?
Are you somehow lacking? You've checked and double checked.
You are definitely worth it. You know people would kill to have you.
And that's not flattery, or your own arrogance bleeding through; 

It's the truth.

You've been loyal, you've been faithful.
You've left no stone unturned, no effort undone.
Secretly her friends wonder why she hasn't put you down,
Made her move. 
Quite a few of his friends think it's high time you made things official.
Still, nothing. Not a word. 
His glances toward you are too short, her behaviour too casual.
Perhaps they'll never see. 

And indeed they do not. 
You're always looking for someone else; someone who isn't me.
You miss me, wish for all the things we have, but you want them. 
I awoke. I opened my eyes. What I see is painful.
You don't desire me. I'm not what you want. Not what you think you need.
I wish it were like the modern fairytales, when after too many tries,
You realize I'm here. 
But that's just that...a fairytale. 
It seems you're right and I'm wrong. 
I'm hoping a square peg will fit in a round hole. 
You're detached enough to see it; I'm too involved to stop trying. 
The way reality looks these days, it seems I'll just have to pack up
And move on. 
Farewell. I hope you find happiness. 

Sincerely, the friend-zoned.